A walk through contrasts

Autumn projects its con­trasts. The day was warm, soft for the onlook­ers who, despite the virus, opened their mouths wide to the sun. As I had to pick up my pre­scrip­tions at the phar­ma­cy, I decid­ed to walk there and then do some ear­ly errands. I don’t go out much, so I took the oppor­tu­ni­ty to break in my new boots. I’m used to lis­ten­ing to the urban envi­ron­ment as it is. This time I opt­ed for my head­phones and ethe­re­al melodies. As for my eyes, blind­ed by the sounds, they only regained con­scious­ness when cross­ing the streets, judg­ing the dan­ger­ous­ness of passers-by, and, like a cat, they some­times fixed them­selves on con­trasts of colors.

The sea­son is fer­tile. Del­i­ques­cence joins the sad phi­los­o­phy of what cir­cu­lates in my veins. Every day, I repeat it only too often, or maybe not enough, in the end, every day, so I let the world pierce the opaque cur­tain of my soul. This is a strange phe­nom­e­nol­o­gy to keep one’s thoughts silent to allow the beau­ti­ful cacoph­o­ny of forms.

Eight kilo­me­ters lat­er, I was back home, my feet a lit­tle sore all the same. For­tu­nate­ly, the new boots didn’t make me suf­fer. I took a show­er, lay down on the bed to relax, and fell into an ear­ly vaca­tion sleep. I dreamed for two and a half hours. I don’t under­stand the cramps I often get in my legs and feet since they are mus­cu­lar, although new­ly veined with age-relat­ed mean­der­ings. My body is ossi­fy­ing. I also feel con­trasts in me.

If I were a monk in Tibet, would I have all these sen­sa­tions ? If I faint­ed with­in the hour, what would hap­pen to the long lug­gage I had gath­ered ? Who could offer me his answers while keep­ing them to him­self ? Do we com­mu­ni­cate ? Are we alone, or are we so absurd­ly merged that we don’t real­ize it ?

Why is it so beau­ti­ful and inac­ces­si­ble, good and evil ? My brain, like an old cir­cuit, is sat­u­rat­ed. Dur­ing the night, the rain of dreams will wash it away so that I can walk there again. This is the act of living.