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Aboulie

Modifié le : 2019/07/21

ABOULIE [abu­li] n. f.
1883 ◇ greek abou­lia « irreflex­ion », mean­ing mod­i­fied from boulesthai “to want”
MED. A men­tal dis­or­der char­ac­ter­ized by a decrease or dis­ap­pear­ance of will result­ing in an inabil­i­ty to choose, decide, act. ➙ apathy.

I bought Le Petit Robert, an elec­tron­ic ver­sion, try­ing to read words, expand vocab­u­lary and expres­sion. Know­ing new words does not make you smarter, nor does it lead to the nir­vana of con­scious­ness. After all, it is a weapon that, in the hands of a war­rior spir­it, will do con­sid­er­able harm. The nobil­i­ty of the tool is noth­ing if the crafts­man blinds him­self or gets drunk. Or gets car­ried away.

A dic­tio­nary is among oth­er things a ceme­tery. When there is no more space, the earth is stirred and moved to an ossuary. Many words only have mean­ing for dead peo­ple, past times. Most words are fine to live with­out. We need, what, two, three thou­sand ? And the rest, this ice­berg of sig­ni­fiers, remains immersed in water known only to sci­en­tists, to some beau­ti­ful minds and also to automa­tons of lit­er­a­ture who can write well and who often have the gift of say­ing nothing.

How­ev­er, read­ing a dic­tio­nary is use­ful because it stirs up the earth of our habits. I don’t want to fall asleep, I chirp, I want to know more. Peo­ple might sug­gest that I go to the gym, that it would also take my mind off things ! I’m not say­ing no, just as I open up the anten­nas of pos­si­bil­i­ties, I’m lis­ten­ing again.

It is not a ques­tion of chang­ing for a change, but of turn­ing the humus around, because spring is not pre­pared until win­ter pass­es. I fear above all the col­lapse of my dreams, the loss of sens­es. The wise or con­ser­v­a­tive man could detect neu­ro­sis here. He won’t want to hear any of my big sen­tences. Maybe he would be right. I’m not say­ing no. But I’m not say­ing yes to him either.

Things can change, as the sea­sons mac­er­ate. The curi­ous mind is the one that is clos­er to child­hood. I have no desire to return to this tem­po­rary naivety. How­ev­er, I want to con­tin­ue to play with words, to dance with the possible.

ABSTÈME [apstɛm] adj. et n.
1596 ◇ latin abstemius
■ 1 DR. CAN. Who, out of nat­ur­al repug­nance, can­not com­mune with wine.
■ 2 DIDACT. Who refrains from drink­ing alco­hol. ➙ clean, sober.n. Mus­lim, Hin­du, Hin­du abstinents.

I am not one of them.

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