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Coda and ministry

Modifié le : 2019/07/27

The spell is cast, as the oth­er would have said. The final man­u­script is in the hands of VLB, sent Fri­day morn­ing by email. I looked for the right sen­tences, the right tone to describe what I had done, reas­sured the edi­tor that I had not rushed the text, but only passed the emery… explain to her that this process had been under­tak­en with the help of Périg before I received their agree­ment, that from now on, I would only inter­vene on the text at their sole request, etc.

I sent.

I hoped for an acknowl­edg­ment of receipt that did­n’t arrive. For a lit­tle bit, I’d start wor­ry­ing again. This shows the harm that the Inter­net has done to time, which has become quan­ti­ta­tive­ly abstract.

The edi­tor may sim­ply not have been there yes­ter­day, was over­whelmed, had meet­ings, I don’t know. And it does­n’t mat­ter. I repeat that the text will not be pub­lished for anoth­er year, that there are so many things that could hap­pen, start­ing with the most ter­ri­ble or the most innocu­ous. Where will I be in a year’s time, what will my thoughts be ?

Any­way, I was hap­py to review Les Mailles san­guines again. I think the text will please. He tells a sto­ry that is no longer a sto­ry at the end, will have touched the uni­ver­sal, talked a lot about love and anger. This nov­el resem­bles the Casimir Effect on sev­er­al points, but dif­fers from it in terms of char­ac­ter explo­ration, resem­bles it, for exam­ple, on betray­als of love, pas­sions, sex­u­al­i­ty, stands out because, in Les Mes Mailles san­guines, the scenes are more direct. Sev­er­al voic­es in the text while in Casimir Effect there was only Martha’s.

A few “cameos”, how­ev­er, that make the link with the two pre­vi­ous nov­els. The notary is still the hand­some Vic­tor of Les Années-rebours, his side­kick always this lover who caused the sep­a­ra­tion from Rémi. Martha is appoint­ed once. Heloise was one of his patients. Rose is a lit­tle Lucian, but less of a buf­foon, more human, I would say, a char­ac­ter inspired by one of my aunts.

But above all, the uni­verse is a lit­tle bit the same. The city of Mon­tre­al flanked by north­ern Que­bec, where the riv­er is wider, where Mon­tre­al should have been to be tru­ly root­ed in Quebec.

In fact, I was told at VLB that this nov­el was well root­ed in the Que­bec con­text. That’s where the resem­blance ends. Serj, the main char­ac­ter has gone into exile in Van­cou­ver (which is not named), and the oth­er chil­dren live in imag­i­nary cities.

Every­thing is, in the end, imag­ined. It is my way of want­i­ng to reach, to aspire to, to the great themes. And I’m now look­ing for anoth­er sto­ry. I could talk about my love life since love seems to be the theme of my writ­ing. But how can we talk about it with­out hav­ing to name it, with­out being seen as a thief of exis­tence, with­out hurt­ing, with­out adulating ?

I have a lot of mate­r­i­al in my hands. My choir and its many men whose lives I know so lit­tle about, my singing class and my teacher, my friends on the ground floor, the hun­dreds of guys I approached on the Inter­net, those who came to be pho­tographed at home, those I met around a cof­fee or a kiss, and then the thou­sands of looks I saw in the street, in the sub­way. Everywhere.

I don’t want to be a civ­il ser­vant in every­day life, I don’t want to lock myself into hourly, spir­i­tu­al and soci­o­log­i­cal rit­u­als. I want to con­tin­ue to be inspired. I want to sing this min­istry that is my life.

Espe­cial­ly since noth­ing stops.

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