Neptune and me

Modifié le : 2019/07/14

The present is a chimera, fool­ish words that the mind tries to write every time it stops to breathe a lit­tle. Its scroll has been unfold­ing for bil­lions and bil­lions of years. What is the present but an impas­sive and lan­guid sequence of absence, which expands or con­tracts accord­ing to our vague sea­sons and moods ? We do not live in the present, we only jump from sec­ond to sec­ond on stones placed under our feet by a hypo­thet­i­cal for­tune pres­tidig­i­ta­tor on this deep lake that is the uni­verse, a world that has per­haps invent­ed us, that has done and dis­cov­ered so many. A ritor­nel­lo, this uni­verse, a vio­lent pact with existence.

We are not the present, we do not know what it is, we keep our eyes closed, away from its obsti­nate gaze. We move for­ward, we dance, we sing, we dream while, far from us, giant plan­ets bub­ble in their methane, while arthrit­ic novae explode with anger.

What is the present when thin and quan­tum leaves, even dia­bol­i­cal, clash with each oth­er to cre­ate dimen­sions so incom­pre­hen­si­ble that they can only be mag­nif­i­cent and bizarre ? What if my fin­gers typed oth­er hypothe­ses, else­where, in a thought that none oth­er than my mul­ti­ple selves could understand ?

I’m ram­bling, of course, isn’t my present unre­al ? That does­n’t mean I’m eter­nal. Nep­tune is taller than me, slow­er, more patient. He will even­tu­al­ly die too. But for the moment, as a great gift placed in the zodi­ac of my sym­bols, he man­ages my life, swal­lows me and my certainties.

Ah ! I love to dream. How immense and heavy is my igno­rance to bear !