On Friendship

Modifié le : 2019/08/08

I learned this morn­ing that two of my great friends are in wrong terms, a kind of short­ness of breath from their cama­raderie. The first would have hurt the sec­ond for, in fact, per­haps a lit­tle noth­ing, and the sec­ond to express his pain would, in turn, hurt the first. Ana­lyzed from the out­side, we could eas­i­ly laugh at the sit­u­a­tion when we real­ize that the dis­com­fort is still there and that it will have final­ly scratched the varnish.

I have the reflex not to wor­ry about that any­more. A friend­ly rela­tion­ship is no dif­fer­ent from a cou­ple’s, and it some­times takes courage to put your foot down and insist on remain­ing your­self, even if we all know that we have to bear with large grains of salt our claims to the orig­i­nal­i­ty of our needs in this area.

But some­times, it is essen­tial to pro­tect your­self, to say that things are not okay. And when we fail to do so, our inner gar­den clos­es again, at the same time try­ing, with despair, to keep a flame that is inex­orably extin­guished, due to a lack of fresh air. Los­ing a friend is not so bad ; he/​she is, after all, just one of the many ships that come and go. Our plea­sure was undoubt­ed­ly to see his/​her sails on the hori­zon again, but let’s be hon­est, we too sail, our trav­els sculpt us differently.

In my short life, I have met many peo­ple. I know many and few. To be hon­est, I am no longer inter­est­ed in them, and that is not to take away their val­ue. My brain is not huge, and my heart is already cramped. I learn not to give every­thing, I some­times seek alone, some­times accom­pa­nied, to blossom.

Noth­ing excludes sol­i­dar­i­ty, noth­ing forces these friend­ships, these some­times frag­ile loves to die out. Every­thing needs work, and if there is one area where archi­tec­ture does not use plans, it is that of human rela­tions. Let us not be sur­prised then when the door no longer clos­es, or the build­ing col­laps­es. We have the choice to do it again and even to find a very Zen plea­sure in redis­cov­er­ing the other.

But courage, for God’s sake, it takes courage to make our soul grow. First and fore­most, let us not for­get that, deep down, our nature is that of the ani­mal that wants to live and project itself into time. Our self­ish­ness, our inner demon, as a beau­ti­ful song says, is some­times our best friend. And con­grat­u­la­tions to those who man­age to cast off and then decide to tie them up again with the rope of old or new sirens.