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Past, future, present

Modifié le : 2019/08/05

The annu­al vis­it to the doc­tor. Analy­sis of the var­i­ous com­po­nents list­ed, obser­va­tion of the loss­es suf­fered ; the machine ages, slow­ly, inex­orably as the say­ing goes.

We will have to increase the dose of cer­tain drugs to con­trol this, that ; we will have to reduce our already low alco­hol con­sump­tion, avoid things that are too fat, be sat­is­fied with few­er food plea­sures, do not work too hard, do not get too tired. Sat­urn, the god of old age, impos­es his rules. You will get old­er if you put into per­spec­tive the del­i­ca­cies offered to young people.

Still hap­py to be healthy, even lucky to vis­it the doc­tor only for rou­tine old age. I know the past of my ances­tors, I could project my future since, sta­tis­ti­cal­ly speak­ing, I am head­ing towards con­gen­i­tal dis­or­ders. But my future here is get­ting blur­ry. Peo­ple die of almost any­thing and at any age among the pre­vi­ous gen­er­a­tion. I secret­ly envy peo­ple who will live to be a hun­dred, their eyes still bright, and their appetite will not make them grow. But that’s where the com­par­i­son ends. As nei­ther the past nor the future are of any help to me, I might as well fall back on this present that is run­ning away from me. If it is nec­es­sary to put the impor­tance of health first, there is no point in for­get­ting that hap­pi­ness has its source in the plea­sure of liv­ing. And, on this side, abun­dance reigns, since the hours are offered to me like so many gen­er­ous sirens.

I have things to do, some will say it occu­pies my mind. We can say any­thing, inter­pret every­thing, surf on more implaca­ble analy­ses than a doc­tor’s ser­mon. We can sit com­fort­ably on the already very fad­ed lau­rels of the past, sali­vat­ing sick­ly on the promis­es of the future always younger than us. We can, more coura­geous­ly, dress in the sim­ple cha­suble of the present, and live what we are, as a devo­tee sub­ject to what he will nev­er understand.

From this, I base my cer­tain­ties. I walk on an ocean of possibilities.

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