The immobile words

It seems to me that I would have some­thing else to do than stay in my bed and watch the win­ter light slide down the wall. Noth­ing works, though. I get lost in med­i­ta­tive immo­bil­i­ty, lis­ten­ing to the slight whis­tle in my ears as if it were radio waves from space.

I feel stuck, like a cat asleep in its makeshift box. Life doesn’t seem any bet­ter to me if I move my body or not. I remem­ber the riv­er let­ters I wrote to a friend in the 1980s. I sent him all my desire and my uncon­scious through this impul­sive logorrhoea.

I can’t tell myself if he real­ly answered them, even though I know from telling myself that he read them avid­ly, that he also read them to his friends. He was proud of me as a poet. I was secret­ly in love, I’m still a lit­tle in love, but not just with him.

I’m a roman­tic per­son. Young Werther and I, the same fight, with­out sui­cide. I have writ­ten a lot about the ocean, about the cliffs, the crash of the waves, prob­a­bly to exter­nal­ize the impos­si­ble vic­to­ries of my too fer­tile imag­i­na­tion, unable to sow the sea­sons well.

And now for silence. The same lone­li­ness as when I was fif­teen years old, always liv­ing in par­al­lel with oth­ers, my uncon­scious gaze, waves mov­ing by them­selves smash­ing against reefs, rocks, deaf hearts.

The shad­ows are get­ting longer. I always lis­ten to this silence made of light, urban nois­es, and squeak­ing hous­es. I cer­tain­ly don’t deny my com­fort, even if I feel guilty about not doing any­thing sig­nif­i­cant anymore.

As if the next wis­dom to under­stand would be one that denies everything.




  • anto desouza

    anto desouza 2020/01/16 01:01 0

    Bonjour ,

    J'ai regardé votre site Web et je trouve le contenu interessant
     De manière similaire, je souhaiterais écrire un article informatif avec une URL qui ajoutera une valeur significative à votre site web et interesserait vos lecteurs.

    Aussi, je vais vous payer pour publier ce contenu sur votre site.

    S'il vous plaît laissez-moi savoir les options de prix possibles.  
      À votre santé
      anto desouza